"Too Cool to Kill"

I saw that on my friend's comments on Facebook. I liked it. I'm sharing it with you, and I'm saving it for me later.

Currently loving the soundtrack to A Single Man. Give it a listen. Good stuff.

Working out

Is hard to do. I started these past couple of days, and I'm having a really hard time. I've been getting mood swings, I've been really sore, I've been exhausted, but I think it'll be for the best.

There's part of me that wants to not try to become a professional actor so that I won't have to worry about working out so much. Acting is probably the second most superficial in the world, the first being modeling which there's a part of me that'd like to try my hand at that. I don't know why, but I'm a little embarassed to say that.

I've been wondering whether or not being an actor, a professional actor, is really what I want to do. There's alot of bull shit that goes with it though. Egos get in the way, creative differences, typecasting, and high expectations.

I would be happy doing community theatre for the rest of my life, but I would always wonder what if, so I think I'll just follow my dreams, and work my ass off to become a professional actor.

Damn....this is gonna be really hard, but this is what I want. And no, that's not what she said. :-p

Good stuff

I just want to say one thing, so I remember it, and also for all of you reading this, (I know it's not many, but all of you are appreciated :-D)

I feel obligated to fulfill someone's perception of me sometimes. I don't as often anymore, but I still do it every now and then.

So, now that it's out there and I have words to describe, I can take active steps to accept it, forgive myself for it, or whatever.

Hope all's well for everyone!

Dexter

So, I've been catching up on Dexter. This is a fantastic show! I'm on Season 2 Episode 7, but it's great man. It really is.

I have noticed some similarities between what "Dexter" is going through, and what I'm going through. He is going for what he believes is right, and not following his dad's code really. This leads him to not really know who he is, and what he believes.

That was obviously a simplified version of it, but I'm kinda going through that with my life. I think I know alot more about myself than Dexter does, but not alot.

I noticed something about me today that I want to get off my chest a little. I find that when I get on Facebook, AIM, or Skype sometimes, I almost get kind of angry when someone I want to talk to doesn't talk to me. I mean, sometimes I start chatting with them and they don't respond, which is one thing, but being mad when they don't start talking with me is a little ludicrous.

Today, I'm gonna write a list of things I do that are stopping me from getting what I want. And these are mainly things that are my thinking patterns. Wish me luck!

So, I'm excited

I have a bunch of different options for my future. I mean, I have millions of options, but I am really aware of 4.

I'm excited. I could either:

a) Go to Dallas, and live with both of my best friends, and try to get work there as an actor. For this I could graduate in 2012.

b) I could go straight to Chicago, try to get work there, get experience, etc. I could graduate in 2012 for this one too.

c) I could go up to New York and live with two of my really good friends and take acting classes in that particular badass city, and just worry about learning as much as I can. I'd rather graduate in 2011.

d) I could go back to Houston and try my best there, and save up a lot of money.

I'm leaning the most towards "c" right now, but it changes alot these days. :-)

We'll see.

Crappy New Years!

I don't wanna be a Debbie Downer, but it has not been fun....

Well, what's happened...le's see.

A) I was in Houston for New Year's Eve, which wasn't SO bad, I got to be in a talent show for improv, and that was pretty fun. But I had to be back by 1 AM, so I got back at 1:30 AM. I'm a 30 minute rebel. :-p

B) The next day, I hung out with my extended family, and that was fun though, so that's good. :-)

C) Well, as always, my parents argued alot. I hate it when they do that, luckily I was moving back to San Marcos the next day. Oh, I also argued with them alot too, and I hate that also.

D) I finally got back to San Marcos, and that was a plus. I hung out with friends which was good. I learned some things. Always good. :-) But I woke up the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that later than 1 in the afternoon. :-( I hate wasting the day.

E) The play I was in got cancelled, so now I'm up for no reason other than to live and hang out.

F) So, I'm an idiot, and I told my parents about the play, and now they want me to come back and work a few more days, and that is the last thing I want to do...

G) Oh, and I'm sick...

So that's not THAT bad, but it sucks that it's all in a few days. Oh well, like my Facebook status says "Today is the day. Stop remembering yesterday, tommorow hasn't come yet. This moment is the moment that could change your life."

Hope all is well for everyone! Happy New Years!