I'm cleaning my room. I'm listening to the band that always started our conversations, back what seems like forever ago. I was so worried the silence would overwhelm us, crush my brain into a cube like in the Looney Tunes cartoons, so I kept the band as a topic in my back pocket. It never did. Silence isn't the enemy. You aren't. I'm not. Circumstances grow to be. I have faith in life. Whatever happens will happen. I don't normally feel this Zen, so it's nice to have it when it's associated with you.
Whenever I'm with someone I care about, and we're together, I get passive aggressive. I don't want that to happen. I make the other feel like they're being a jerk, when I'm the one making them feel that way. I can't help it. I get it from my mother. Now that I have put to words and realized this about myself, I can attempt to stop it. It makes me think what else I haven't realized yet. It makes me scared of me a little. A lot. Maybe that's what keeps me, me. I always have a slight fear of me, or what I will do. Not saying you should be, I just mean, that I get myself in trouble sometimes I think.
This helps. Writing to you when you don't know I am. I guess this is all I can do for now.
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