Not gonna lie. I'm a little pissed I didn't get called back for Big Love. I don't know about the other ones, but I'm still pissed.
I didn't work my ass off, I didn't do as good I should've, I didn't do a great job in Macbeth, I got nervous, I didn't make my monologue as layered as it should've been, I didn't do what I was supposed to do really, I was nervous.
So why am I pissed? Because some actors that really aren't that good got called back. I guess I'm learning now how superficially directors can base their choices. That must be it. Oh well. Whatever. I will work much harder on my audition pieces for the next play auditions. It'll be tough, but God damn it, it's gonna be fun. :-)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wobiddy crunch crunch
Dang, titling these things are kind of tough.
Anyways, yay! Another blog!
Tonight are auditions at Texas State. I'm excited. I am using a monologue that I've used more than once. I'm not entirely excited about having to use it, but it was too late to learn a new one. Doesn't mean I can't tweak it. :-)
I was thinking, what makes a hard worker? Is it knowing tons and tons of information? I don't think so. I think it is knowing that information, but being able to apply it to where you want.
I ask this, because I want to be a hard worker. I have been lazy, and unfortunately, I've done pretty well going off of that, so my brain doesn't think it needs to work as much. I want to work hard. I don't think I really have yet. I've done a lot, but I think that is different as well. Doing a lot of things during the day may give you the illusion that you're working hard, but you have to work hard at them individually.
I want to work hard at my classes, but I also want to work hard at my acting also. Unfortunately, when I attempt to work hard on my acting, it gets me up in my head. I've learned a lot these past few months, and that isn't nearly as much of a problem as it is now, but still.
I am a bad procrastinator as well, but I want to learn to reverse that. It's so much easier, and so much less stressful to actually do the work a chunk at a time. I need to write a to-do list of everything I need to do the night before the actual day and knock everything out one at a time. (This is more for me than anyone else. We'll call this a selfish blog :-P) Caleb Straus said he does that, and I am really starting to see how good an idea that is.
There are a lot things I need to do, so I guess I'll end this prematurely.
Have a great day!
Tim
Anyways, yay! Another blog!
Tonight are auditions at Texas State. I'm excited. I am using a monologue that I've used more than once. I'm not entirely excited about having to use it, but it was too late to learn a new one. Doesn't mean I can't tweak it. :-)
I was thinking, what makes a hard worker? Is it knowing tons and tons of information? I don't think so. I think it is knowing that information, but being able to apply it to where you want.
I ask this, because I want to be a hard worker. I have been lazy, and unfortunately, I've done pretty well going off of that, so my brain doesn't think it needs to work as much. I want to work hard. I don't think I really have yet. I've done a lot, but I think that is different as well. Doing a lot of things during the day may give you the illusion that you're working hard, but you have to work hard at them individually.
I want to work hard at my classes, but I also want to work hard at my acting also. Unfortunately, when I attempt to work hard on my acting, it gets me up in my head. I've learned a lot these past few months, and that isn't nearly as much of a problem as it is now, but still.
I am a bad procrastinator as well, but I want to learn to reverse that. It's so much easier, and so much less stressful to actually do the work a chunk at a time. I need to write a to-do list of everything I need to do the night before the actual day and knock everything out one at a time. (This is more for me than anyone else. We'll call this a selfish blog :-P) Caleb Straus said he does that, and I am really starting to see how good an idea that is.
There are a lot things I need to do, so I guess I'll end this prematurely.
Have a great day!
Tim
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
*Insert title here*
I am reminded of a quote of Sally Field: "It took me a long time not to juge myself through someone else's eyes". I really like that quote.
I mentioned the basis of the thought behind this quote in my previous blog. Now, to tell you the truth, I don't remember exactly what I said in the last one so I'll let it slide that you don't know either. :-) However, in this blog, I want to talk about something different. I want to talk about lessons you know, but haven't swallowed yet. Haven't...absorbed into your being yet.
There's an age, I'm not sure when, but you take your parent's advice without a grain of salt and you just listen to them, and trust them so much. Then, one day, you begin to take parent's and adult's advice with more than a grain of salt. Pretty soon, you're not listening to anyone really. Then, gradually, you realize something has to change, and so you start listening to other people giving the same advice that you've heard all of your life, but this time it's different, because this person has told you, and not your parents, a teacher, or someone whom you hold a little bit of contempt for. You know what I'm talking about. Like when your parents tell you to clean your room, and you don't, but then a hot girl sees your room and tells you you should clean your room. Yeah. You know the situation.
I think it's interesting that we know the lessons, but we don't really learn the lessons until the right time. Then, when we learn it, we are little bit changed. Maybe wiser, because now you wonder what else haven't you learned and you are either excited or dreading this next discovery. I think when you think too much about it, change is a bad thing. I think if you think too much about anything it becomes a bad thing. We need to be open to turn off the logical mind every once in a while and take risks, and be open to falling, because if we don't, we have no chance of flying.
I still suffer from doubting myself, everyone does. It's human nature. However, if a person can limit the time spent doubting, and use that energy for something else, it is a lot more productive. At the same time, you don't have to be productive ALL the time, you have to take time out as well. The balance of the two is completely personal. No-one should do that for you, but you.
Everything is a balance in my opinion.
One last Sally Field quote for the believing in yourself mantra, (Yay! I can tie everything up! Woohoo!) "My agent said, 'You aren't good enough for movies.' I said, 'You're fired.'"
Have a great day!
Tim
I mentioned the basis of the thought behind this quote in my previous blog. Now, to tell you the truth, I don't remember exactly what I said in the last one so I'll let it slide that you don't know either. :-) However, in this blog, I want to talk about something different. I want to talk about lessons you know, but haven't swallowed yet. Haven't...absorbed into your being yet.
There's an age, I'm not sure when, but you take your parent's advice without a grain of salt and you just listen to them, and trust them so much. Then, one day, you begin to take parent's and adult's advice with more than a grain of salt. Pretty soon, you're not listening to anyone really. Then, gradually, you realize something has to change, and so you start listening to other people giving the same advice that you've heard all of your life, but this time it's different, because this person has told you, and not your parents, a teacher, or someone whom you hold a little bit of contempt for. You know what I'm talking about. Like when your parents tell you to clean your room, and you don't, but then a hot girl sees your room and tells you you should clean your room. Yeah. You know the situation.
I think it's interesting that we know the lessons, but we don't really learn the lessons until the right time. Then, when we learn it, we are little bit changed. Maybe wiser, because now you wonder what else haven't you learned and you are either excited or dreading this next discovery. I think when you think too much about it, change is a bad thing. I think if you think too much about anything it becomes a bad thing. We need to be open to turn off the logical mind every once in a while and take risks, and be open to falling, because if we don't, we have no chance of flying.
I still suffer from doubting myself, everyone does. It's human nature. However, if a person can limit the time spent doubting, and use that energy for something else, it is a lot more productive. At the same time, you don't have to be productive ALL the time, you have to take time out as well. The balance of the two is completely personal. No-one should do that for you, but you.
Everything is a balance in my opinion.
One last Sally Field quote for the believing in yourself mantra, (Yay! I can tie everything up! Woohoo!) "My agent said, 'You aren't good enough for movies.' I said, 'You're fired.'"
Have a great day!
Tim
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Back in.....Well, I'm just back
So, I'm finally in San Marcos! I'm excited! I have a one person apartment which I think might actually be too big for one person, but I'm an American! That's what we get right? ;-)
I was just thinking. I'm nervous about starting this year. I've learned new things this summer, and I just hope that I can apply them. *In a cheesy salesman tone* And if you wanna see what I'm talking about when I say learned new things, check out my previous blog. *Smile with pearly whites that glisten in the sun*
And now for something along the same line, I'm just worried because now that I have a new attitude towards life, people, myself, acting, etc., I feel like I'm gonna have to start over with people. It'll be new things with people I've known. I guess that's what happens in life right?
I just have to remind myself of my a mantra I made up that helps keep things in perspective for me. "It's not as bad as it seems". Now, I'm not an over anxious jitter bug, but I do tend to assume that people are looking at me, but if I remind myself that that's just me freaking out over what I think people are feeling. Ya know? I just have to remind myself what is literally going, what are the irrefutable facts in this situation. :-) Isn't that great? I learned that from a wonderful person named Elissa Goss. She's amazing. <3
Anyways, I got to go now, and I don't feel quite so nervous anymore. I hope this helps anyone reading this just a little bit.
Have a great day everyone!
Tim
I was just thinking. I'm nervous about starting this year. I've learned new things this summer, and I just hope that I can apply them. *In a cheesy salesman tone* And if you wanna see what I'm talking about when I say learned new things, check out my previous blog. *Smile with pearly whites that glisten in the sun*
And now for something along the same line, I'm just worried because now that I have a new attitude towards life, people, myself, acting, etc., I feel like I'm gonna have to start over with people. It'll be new things with people I've known. I guess that's what happens in life right?
I just have to remind myself of my a mantra I made up that helps keep things in perspective for me. "It's not as bad as it seems". Now, I'm not an over anxious jitter bug, but I do tend to assume that people are looking at me, but if I remind myself that that's just me freaking out over what I think people are feeling. Ya know? I just have to remind myself what is literally going, what are the irrefutable facts in this situation. :-) Isn't that great? I learned that from a wonderful person named Elissa Goss. She's amazing. <3
Anyways, I got to go now, and I don't feel quite so nervous anymore. I hope this helps anyone reading this just a little bit.
Have a great day everyone!
Tim
Friday, August 14, 2009
This Summer
This summer can't be summed up into a simple statement of saying it was good, or bad, or anything like that. This summer has been rollercoasterish and transformational.
I think it definitely started while the school year was going on. I auditioned for BFA, and I was sick, unprepared, and not ready for auditioning or even getting in. I did it, I performed it as I rehearsed it, which still wasn't very good, but that's what happens. It's ok, it's all in the past now. :-)
Then, as soon as I was done, I had two major things I had to do. I had to do my Characterization paper, and I had to do my realism analysis. For those that don't know, Characterization paper means 42 pages at least of observations on a person, you're rehearsel time, etc etc. Yeah, I didn't do any of it until that night. That was not smart on my part. Live and learn right?
Well, I did the paper and project on my brother. I figured hey, I know everything about him, I can just let it go, and trust that if something were to come up, I could make a very logical guess, or I could tell the truth which I'd know. Well, we got in there, and oh my God it was so great! I didn't know what was going to happen, but I was ready for it. Wait, isn't that what acting is supposed to be like? Hmm...:-) Anywho, it went splendidly! So when I stopped pretending to be my brother, every acting lesson I had learned finally made sense! Damn it! Why couldn't I have had this revelation earlier!? Like 3 days earlier?! At my BFA auditions?!
Well, as you could probably tell, I didn't get into BFA, which is fine because that's the way it's supposed to be and I finally understand a lot more about acting. Acting had always been an anxiety with me. I wanted and still do want to be great. However, it never made sense to me. I put way too much pressure on myself, and that was not cool. I still do sometimes now, but not nearly NEARLY as much.
So, I relaxed cuz I understood it a lot more now, so that relaxation seeped in through my pores. Anywho, I auditioned for Much Ado about Nothing, which I had heard it was Midsummer, or Taming of the Shrew, or even As You Like It. Finally, I found out about it being Much Ado. Well, getting to the audition, it was like a reunion! I saw alot of the guys that I was in Romeo and Juliet with, and some of my favoritest people were there, and it was SO much fun! I knew I was gonna get in, but I definitely didn't mind if I didn't cuz I had so much fun at the audition!
Well, then the cast list was posted, and I got in! However, I didn't get the part that I wanted. I wanted Benedick, of course, cuz I thought I finally deserved a lead. I learned once again, that it doesn't matter if it's the lead or whatever. A part is a part.
So, rehearsels start and I'm a little dismayed because the director and I didn't see eye to eye with who the Prince Don Pedro was supposed to be. It turns out she was right on a major thing, and I was too stubborn to budge. So, I got super close with most of the rest of the cast. I tell you what everyone, that was the most fun I have ever had with a cast. We went out, we karaoked, we went to open mike nights, we swapped stories, it was fantastic.
I learned to stop complaining about not having what I want, and enjoying the things you have. I made such great friends through that cast. I am a more social person, I am less awkward, and nervous, and I'm more of a human being that is continuing to learn.
I've finally started to become what I wanted: a human being/actor instead of a neurotic wanna be actor/ human. I'm truly enjoying life. It has it's ups and downs, but even the downs are better than some of my old ups.
This has been a fantastic summer for so many different reasons. Thank you all! I know it's gonna stay awesome cuz I move into my apartment tommorow! Woohoo!
Stay yourself everyone!
Tim
I think it definitely started while the school year was going on. I auditioned for BFA, and I was sick, unprepared, and not ready for auditioning or even getting in. I did it, I performed it as I rehearsed it, which still wasn't very good, but that's what happens. It's ok, it's all in the past now. :-)
Then, as soon as I was done, I had two major things I had to do. I had to do my Characterization paper, and I had to do my realism analysis. For those that don't know, Characterization paper means 42 pages at least of observations on a person, you're rehearsel time, etc etc. Yeah, I didn't do any of it until that night. That was not smart on my part. Live and learn right?
Well, I did the paper and project on my brother. I figured hey, I know everything about him, I can just let it go, and trust that if something were to come up, I could make a very logical guess, or I could tell the truth which I'd know. Well, we got in there, and oh my God it was so great! I didn't know what was going to happen, but I was ready for it. Wait, isn't that what acting is supposed to be like? Hmm...:-) Anywho, it went splendidly! So when I stopped pretending to be my brother, every acting lesson I had learned finally made sense! Damn it! Why couldn't I have had this revelation earlier!? Like 3 days earlier?! At my BFA auditions?!
Well, as you could probably tell, I didn't get into BFA, which is fine because that's the way it's supposed to be and I finally understand a lot more about acting. Acting had always been an anxiety with me. I wanted and still do want to be great. However, it never made sense to me. I put way too much pressure on myself, and that was not cool. I still do sometimes now, but not nearly NEARLY as much.
So, I relaxed cuz I understood it a lot more now, so that relaxation seeped in through my pores. Anywho, I auditioned for Much Ado about Nothing, which I had heard it was Midsummer, or Taming of the Shrew, or even As You Like It. Finally, I found out about it being Much Ado. Well, getting to the audition, it was like a reunion! I saw alot of the guys that I was in Romeo and Juliet with, and some of my favoritest people were there, and it was SO much fun! I knew I was gonna get in, but I definitely didn't mind if I didn't cuz I had so much fun at the audition!
Well, then the cast list was posted, and I got in! However, I didn't get the part that I wanted. I wanted Benedick, of course, cuz I thought I finally deserved a lead. I learned once again, that it doesn't matter if it's the lead or whatever. A part is a part.
So, rehearsels start and I'm a little dismayed because the director and I didn't see eye to eye with who the Prince Don Pedro was supposed to be. It turns out she was right on a major thing, and I was too stubborn to budge. So, I got super close with most of the rest of the cast. I tell you what everyone, that was the most fun I have ever had with a cast. We went out, we karaoked, we went to open mike nights, we swapped stories, it was fantastic.
I learned to stop complaining about not having what I want, and enjoying the things you have. I made such great friends through that cast. I am a more social person, I am less awkward, and nervous, and I'm more of a human being that is continuing to learn.
I've finally started to become what I wanted: a human being/actor instead of a neurotic wanna be actor/ human. I'm truly enjoying life. It has it's ups and downs, but even the downs are better than some of my old ups.
This has been a fantastic summer for so many different reasons. Thank you all! I know it's gonna stay awesome cuz I move into my apartment tommorow! Woohoo!
Stay yourself everyone!
Tim
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Inspired by...?
Robert Downey Jr. He's an interesting guy, isn't he? He's been in jail, he grew up in a very interesting home, and now he's one of the most popular actors today.
There are plenty of cool people in the world, and though I can't really define what cool is, I would have to say ol' Robby is one of them. There is something about him that makes me want to hang out with him some day.
I was watching his interview on Inside the Actor's Studio. I do that. I watch interviews of actors I respect in order to gain a better understanding of who they are, in order to get advice from them, or whatever other reason. I realized going into this particular interview that ol' Bobbo was not like other people that have been on the show. A lot of it had to do with his entrance. Most people when walking into the Actor's Studio to talk with James Lipton acknowledge the crowd with a wave, shake Lipton's hand, readjust their coat or shirt or something, and then wait for the interview to take place. When Robert came out, he had a huge grin on his face. Not just a polite smirk, but a this-is-so-exciting-I'm-gonna-enjoy-the-hell-outta-this grin.
He even got up to watch his film clip from Scanner Darkly and laughed along with everyone else. That tells me that he enjoys what he does, and isn't afraid to enjoy himself in movies also. That is so awesome in my opinion. I don't like snobby or arrogant people. People who believe that they are better than everyone else.
I'd like to think I'm not like that, but I do have my moments.
What else? Uhm...I kinda like this blog thing. It seems a little self indulgent, but I think this will be a lot cheaper and better for the environment than keeping a paper journal so woop!
I am so anxious to get back to school! I have learned a whole lot this summer, and I can't wait to apply when I get back there. I have learned to be a person again, and I continue to. It's wonderful. I want to live my life the way I want, and frankly, I can't when I am under my parents roof.
I plan to read a lot more, I plan to work out, I plan to eat healthier, I plan to take a dance class, I plan to have more fun, I plan to be more organized, I plan to journal (or I guess blog now), I plan to connect with people more instead of idolize them, I plan to find out more about me, I plan...to stop planning so damn much. :-) I plan to not use Facebook nearly as much. There will be more planned things, but I don't think ya'll want to be bored with that.
Well, I wish there was a good way to bring Robert Downey Jr back into this and tie everything up, but I can't really think of anything so...yay! First blog!
There are plenty of cool people in the world, and though I can't really define what cool is, I would have to say ol' Robby is one of them. There is something about him that makes me want to hang out with him some day.
I was watching his interview on Inside the Actor's Studio. I do that. I watch interviews of actors I respect in order to gain a better understanding of who they are, in order to get advice from them, or whatever other reason. I realized going into this particular interview that ol' Bobbo was not like other people that have been on the show. A lot of it had to do with his entrance. Most people when walking into the Actor's Studio to talk with James Lipton acknowledge the crowd with a wave, shake Lipton's hand, readjust their coat or shirt or something, and then wait for the interview to take place. When Robert came out, he had a huge grin on his face. Not just a polite smirk, but a this-is-so-exciting-I'm-gonna-enjoy-the-hell-outta-this grin.
He even got up to watch his film clip from Scanner Darkly and laughed along with everyone else. That tells me that he enjoys what he does, and isn't afraid to enjoy himself in movies also. That is so awesome in my opinion. I don't like snobby or arrogant people. People who believe that they are better than everyone else.
I'd like to think I'm not like that, but I do have my moments.
What else? Uhm...I kinda like this blog thing. It seems a little self indulgent, but I think this will be a lot cheaper and better for the environment than keeping a paper journal so woop!
I am so anxious to get back to school! I have learned a whole lot this summer, and I can't wait to apply when I get back there. I have learned to be a person again, and I continue to. It's wonderful. I want to live my life the way I want, and frankly, I can't when I am under my parents roof.
I plan to read a lot more, I plan to work out, I plan to eat healthier, I plan to take a dance class, I plan to have more fun, I plan to be more organized, I plan to journal (or I guess blog now), I plan to connect with people more instead of idolize them, I plan to find out more about me, I plan...to stop planning so damn much. :-) I plan to not use Facebook nearly as much. There will be more planned things, but I don't think ya'll want to be bored with that.
Well, I wish there was a good way to bring Robert Downey Jr back into this and tie everything up, but I can't really think of anything so...yay! First blog!
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